


Say Goodbye

by MokutonPrince



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AND IT JUST GETS WORSE, Angst and Feels, Betrayal, Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Broken Heart, Broken Promises, Emotional Hurt, Galras have mates, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Keith sings to express his thoughts and emotions, Kinda, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Possessive Behavior, Rejection, Sorta Shiro bashing, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unrequited Love, Well - Freeform, a lot of anger and resentment, a lot of anger issues, a lot of bashing on a lot of characters, and so tired, but not for long, but then just catatonic acceptance, he's a mess, i dunno yet - Freeform, lord have mercy, probably, yeah?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21569512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MokutonPrince/pseuds/MokutonPrince
Summary: Keith has had enough.After working with the Blades for a few months, he had wanted to stay on Earth for a while, with his friends and to just be close to Shiro. But during the time that he was gone, Shiro had found someone to give all of his attention to. All of his smiles, all of his laughter, and just all of his free time. Like Keith just didn't exist anymore.James knew. About how much Keith loved him, and how much it hurt to see the man he wanted more than anything, walk away to put a ring on some other man's finger. But he was also the first one to pity him.But finally it all grows to be too much and Keith just wants out. Wants to get away and possibly and hopefully never see Earth again. So he finds a way. Even deciding to be nice and record his goodbye, yet only allowing it to be found if anyone were to look deep enough. If anyone actually wanted to find him, even after he was already long gone.He's not surprised when it takes almost a whole earth year before he gets wind that Voltron is looking for him.
Relationships: Keith & Kolivan (Voltron)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This entire mess is based on a song called "Say Goodbye" by Citizen Soldier, which is what i named the story after. They are a wonderful band and their songs are often what helps inspire me to write. I suggest you give yourself a listen, it might help while reading.

_"Hey, it's uh, it's me. If you're watching this then I have already been gone for a while, months probably." Keith gave a bitter chuckle, glancing down at his trembling hands before looking back up at the camera. "Recently, I have found out something that terrified me. Scared me so bad that I didn't know what to do, yet alone tell anybody, but since I'm already gone and probably never going to see you all again, i'll tell you."_

_Letting out a breath, Keith reached for something off camera then pulled back with a few pieces of paper, seemingly using it to avoid the camera. "As you all know, I am half Galra. Which is something I take great pride in because I am apart of such an amazing race and I am so thankful to have met them, including getting to find my mother. But um- Something I'm sure none of ya'll know is that Galra's have mates." He chuckled then, looking up at the camera again, "Crazy right, Lance? I can already hear your jokes." The smile slipped from his face then, eyes darting off to the side, "Though even being only have, I will have a mate too- well, I did. Which is why i'm making this video so I can tell you without having to face the judgement I know I'd have. Call me a coward but this is something that humans can't understand."_

_Another moment of silence, long black bangs shielding violet eyes from view as slender hand reach up to wipe at them. When he spoke again, his voice was wet, "Galra's mate for life, it's something that is cherished and viewed as the most beautiful bond that we as Galra can have. When a mate dies, the one alive will feel their death as if their very should was being ripped apart, and more often then not, they will follow their mate into death just to be with them again." Looking at the screen, Keith's eyes were visibly wet and red rimmed, though he tried his hardest to keep himself to outright crying._

_"But before you start assuming and calculating, my mate did not die and no I am not dead. Probably."_

_Another soft almost inaudible sniff, broken eyes glancing away as if to gather the courage he needed to continue. "My mate rejected me. Something that is almost unheard of yet it does happen, at least from what my mom told me._ _" Reaching down under the desk he was seated at, he pulled out a well used guitar, one that was seen by almost everyone he had met at the Garrison._

_"Now you're all probably wondering just who it was and why I let it get so bad. But I won't tell you- When I had found out, I was so terrified because I know that it was a lost cause, so I never even told him. I mean, who am I to come between him and his happy relationship just because he was my mate? I'm not entitled to it and if I die because of it, then." Keith shrugged, showing that he didn't care about it even when it was clear of his face how utterly broken he was._

_"Actually, I didn't even want to make this video to begin with so you should thank my mother for convincing me to at least give you a reason as to why I left. Not that i'll actually make it easy for you, so depending on when you do find this, just know that's all on you on how hard you cared to look."_

_His fingers plucked a few strings on the guitar, his other hand busy is making sure it was tuned correctly as he strummed each one. "All of you know that I'm not good at expressing my feelings, so I figured that I would put it in the one way that I could."_

_He strummed a few careful notes before gently beating the butt of his hand against the wood to match with the beat in his head, Keith's entire focus on the guitar in his hands and the music from his fingers. When he began to sing, his voice was still a little wet but it was strong with every word filled with emotion._

**_I left a letter here for you_ **

****_I hope it helps you see the hell you put me through_  
Don't say you're sorry one more time  
This time we cross the line  
Now it's too late  
This can't be saved

_By now his eyes were closed, focused as he poured everything he was into his last message, something that everyone could feel._

****_No more second chances_  
We have nothing left to say  
Lay me down with all these memories  
Let them burn and watch me fade  
This victim I'm becoming  
I can't even recognize  
So say goodbye  
Say goodbye

_The soft tenor of his voice cracked on the last word, as though it pained him just to say it out loud as his fingers continued to pluck the string and tap the body of the guitar to continue the beat. Keith took a deep breath before he continued, violet eyes squeezing shut as it to fight the temptation to look._

****_Don't you pretend you ever cared_  
You cut me down so far, I fell beyond repair  
You always put the blame on me  
I won't stay one more day  
Tonight I'm getting off my knees

 **** _No more second chances_  
We have nothing left to say  
Lay me down with all these memories  
Let them burn and watch me fade  
This victim I'm becoming  
I can't even recognize  
So say goodbye  
Say goodbye

_His fingers paused on the strings, allowing himself in just holding the guitar close to his body like it was a precious heirloom. Though it was, because Shiro had gotten it for him on his birthday years ago. It was the first time he remembered being happy after his father died. His voice carried through the room he was in, strong even as a tear slipped past his eyelashes and dripped down to his jaw, his emotions even more raw during the acapella._

****_You pulled me under_  
You pushed me further  
From myself than I have ever been  
Tell me was it worth in making me feel worthless  
To know I'm never coming back again

_Then his head dropped as he returned to strumming his song, his fingers visibly trembling as he held each string in a different note. It was a miracle he never faltered as his hand tapped against the wooden body, his knee jumping under the table. When he licked his lips to finish the song, his lips were trembling as his emotions began to get the better of him._

****_No more second chances_  
We have nothing left to say  
Lay me down with all these memories  
Let them burn and watch me fade  
This victim I'm becoming  
I can't even recognize  
So say goodbye  
Say goodbye

_The music rang out in echos, even after it was over, making the silence ring. When Keith looked back at the camera, his eyes were nearing yellow with his pupils narrowed into thin slits, though it didn't do anything to stop the sudden onslaught of fresh tears that he fought so hard against. "If you ever find this, I hope you stay happy with the person you love the most. And I pray to God that you don't look for me. May I be blessed with death before you do."_

When the video cut out, it left the room in a thick silence, the white static only an echo of what they had just watched.

The conference room was full with every officer of the Garrison, the members of Voltron and Atlas, even some pilots such as James and Ryan and their crew. Everyone was quiet, trying to analyze just what the hell they just watched. 

"What the fuck?" Lance helpfully supplied, voicing everyone's thoughts. 

Then it went into chaos.

"Where the hell is he!?" 

"When was that made!?"

"Did he seriously-"

"I can't believe he-"

" **Enough!"** Shiro yelled, gaining everyone else's attention and halting the mess of head-less chickens. Nodding a silent thank you, he turned to Pidge and her father, who were sitting at the controls where the video was found. "Pidge. Can you find out the date when that video was made?"

She nodded quickly, her attention already on the screen in front of her as her fingers flew across the keys, she found it in less than a minute but she just stilled and sat staring at the numbers. When it took too long for her to speak, Shiro walked around from the table to where she was seated and leaned down to look himself. He didn't bother to hide his gasp, eyes widening in horror and self disgust.

Commander Holt was the one to answer everyone's question, though his voice was quiet. "February third." He swallowed, glancing over to Shiro who was still silent in his own horror. "Ten months ago."

"How the fuck did we just find out this now?" Someone muttered, which turned out to be James who was glaring angrily at Shiro, much to his confusion. "How the fucking hell did we just find out he was _missing?!"_

"Oh, like you care about where he goes." Lance spits back, just as angry. "You never checked on him."

"Well neither did you!" James yelled.

And then it was an all out shouting match, mostly between James and Lance, but Hunk had gotten involved by trying to calm everyone down while Ryan went to pull James back from starting a fight. Gradually it escalated into the point where Pidge had gotten up and had use her bayard to tie up Lance when it looked like he was about to jump the table. James wasn't faring any better, multiple arms around his arms and torso just to keep him in his seat. The older Officers were talking in hushed tones over in the corner, discussing god knows what.

Shiro though, he had collapsed into the chair that Pidge had vacated, barely even noticing when his husband had come up to him to grab his hand and trying to gain his attention, but all he could think about was _Keith_. 

"Oh my God-"

He knew Keith the best. He was the person Keith was the closest to and he thought they were close enough to be able to tell everything to. At least they were before- 

Oh.

"This is my fault."

Shiro's husband stared at him confused, still holding onto his hand, "What do you mean?" But Shiro wasn't even looking at him, he was staring at the small square on the screen where Keith's video sat innocently. Without thinking, he pressed on with with his finger to let it play again, which had the added bonus of silencing the crazy room.

Again, everyone sat to watch as Keith confessed his secret but this time, Shiro watched and listened with sharper senses in the hopes to catch a clue. When it got to the part where he was about to play again, he paused the video in thought.

"Shiro?"

"His mother. He said that he talked to her about it, so she has to know where he is. Even is he's d-dead or still alive."

Pidge jumped up from where she was, rushing over to push Shiro and chair away from the computer so she could type furiously into the controls. Every watched curiously as the large screen that was still up in front of the table blinked to blue before it beeped in a constant tone. It took too long for anyone's comfort before there was a new deeper beep and their call was accepted.

Yet they all winced when the very angry face of the Leader of the Blades, Kolivan's face twisted into a dangerous snarl that bared his sharp teeth. "You have some nerve calling here." His voice was a growl, much like that of an earth Tiger, loud and deep and full of threat.

"Keith-"

"Is not here!" Kolivan snapped, silencing the room. "Not like it is any of your business, as he does not belong on your planet."

Lance sputtered, "What do you mean he doesn't be long here! He's apart of Voltron!" but that just made the snarl on Kolivan's face even deeper.

"Is that so? Then tell me, little human, why do you only call about his whereabouts now? And do now think of lying to me, I am _very well aware_ of why he left and _when."_

Shiro finally found the strength to stand up, slowly making his way towards the front of the screen so that he could gain the Galra's attention, which he succeeded when he got a low growl in acknowledgement. 

"Sir, Is Keith alright?"

Kolivan seemed caught off guard by the question, but it didn't do anything to lighten the high tension they could feel even through light years apart and a screen. "He is alive. No thanks to you."

"So it's true-" Shiro whispered, gaze dropping to his flesh and machine hands. "It is my fault." he wasn't expecting the loud roar that rumbled through the systems speakers, making everyone wince and cover their ears from the onslaught.

"You only come to me now! After months of nothing and you're only now wondering where he is! If it were not for him begging for my silence, I would have gone down there to kill you myself! He deserved better yet he let himself suffer in silence just so you could be happy! You are a very lucky man, Shirogane Takashi that you get to keep your life. But do not think for a moment that the rest of you are not to blame! You all disgust me." The following silence was deafening, each person growing more and more uneasy when those harsh yellow eyes narrowed with thinly veiled hatred. When Kolivan spoke again, the softness of his tone betrayed the harshness of the words.

"I hope you listen well, because I will not repeat myself. But you will leave him alone and you will cease your attempts on tracking him and trying to find him. I will not allow you to hurt him again. Or so help me, you will understand more intimately why we Galra are the most terrifying species in this entire universe."

The call cut off abruptly, leaving those at the Garrison in heavy foreboding silence that made them even scared to breathe.

It seemed like forever before the Atlas Captain spoke up, everything from his body to his voice hard as stone. "Pidge. Start looking into every single planet and galaxy we have in our data base, then expand to those that we don't. Have everyone you can help you. I want him found as fast as possible."

The green lion pilot didn't question the order, simply nodding and grabbing her father and brother and dragging them with her as she left the conference room so that they could do as ordered. 

"Hunk, I need you to speak with Shay and her people to see if they had seen or heard anything from Keith. Report back to me _the second_ you hear anything." 

Said Hunk gave a short nod, face showing how uncertain he was but he knew better than to disobey the order given. Shiro was in his 'Full Leader mode' as they had teased him about it before.

"Everyone else, go back to your stations and look through everything you have for any information on our missing pilot. Assist the Holts if you can and inform me immediately when you find something." 

A majority of the officers left, leaving only Lance, Hunk along with James, Ryan, Nadia and Ina. Whom where looking at him with a combination of anger, hurt and confusion.

More silence flooded the room, making Shiro sigh as he dropped into the nearest chair. 

"Why are you looking for him? Kolivan made it pretty fucking clear to just leave him alone." James grit out, the anger evident in his tone as his eyes narrowed at the captain, much like he had earlier yet more aggressive. "I for one, don't have a death wish."

"Well what do you expect me to do then? Just leave him out there doing who knows what? I mean, he was sick before he left-"

"Yeah. _Months ago._ In case you forgot. He's probably happy where he is, doing pretty well for himself if Kolivan is to be believed. I mean, it took you almost an entire fucking year just to realize that he was gone! What can we do now, huh?" 

"Oh, like you are any better!" Lance shot back, pushing to his feet as he leaned over the table. "What have you done? I know you hated his guts, even way back when we just started going to the academy."

James shot up all the same, turning his ire to the shouting blue pilot, "At least I asked! I asked where he had gone and no-one had a single clue! What about you McClain? You were so far up his ass, I wonder why you never said anything!"

Lance gaped, "I was not! We were friends!"

"Were you?"

"Alright!" Shiro cut in, gaining their attention. At least Lance at the mind to look chastened. "Look, if it's any body fault, it's mine. I'm the reason he ran off." he wasn't expecting James to scoff, arms crossed against his chest as he sat back down.

"Yeah? And what makes you so special, hm? He said he was leaving because his mate rejected him and- Oh." slowly, James lowered his arms as he looked at Shiro then over to his husband who was watching silently from the controls, then back to the Captain. "You fucking idiot."

"What-"

James knocked back his chair with the force of how fast he got to his feet, body practically shaking in rage. "You stupid selfish fucker!" James roared, much to the surprise to everyone watching, including Shiro. 

"Everything makes so much sense now!" 

"James-"

"He was in love with you for _years._ Ever since you accepted him into the Garrison, he's looked up to you and basically worshiped the ground you walked on." They watched as James paced around the table, arms moving with his words, "Even when you left on the Kerberos mission, Keith took it harder than Adam! It was kinda pathetic at the time but now I understand. You've been his mate for years and after everything you've gone through, you reject him." James stared directly at Shiro as he said it, his jaw aching with how hard he's gritting his teeth.

"You rejected him to marry someone else even though he was _right in front of you!"_

Shiro opened his mouth to interject but James beat him to it, a finger aiming at him, "Did you know that when you crash landed after you went missing, he beat the hell out of an entire unit of medics and researchers who had found you? We all saw the aftermath when you and your little group left earth. And then when you all came back for the first time in years, he never left your side and you just. Ugh!"

James stormed out of the room, kicking open the door with enough force to make it crack the wall adjacent to it. Every watched him go with wide eyes, although Lance and Hunk were both glancing at each other in silent conversation.

"I don't-"

"He's right, Shiro." Lance whispered, eyes having moved to the table top.

"What?"

The Blue Pilot sighed, licking his lips before he spoke, "Keith has always loved you. He always took it the hardest when you were injured or when you had gone missing. Not even Allura could calm him down when he got worked up, he just worked harder. Yet he never...he never said anything. It was always in the way he looked at you or when you walked into the room, his eyes would light up like you were his entire world." Lance rubbed his face, suddenly feeling tired. "I was supposed to be his friend, and yet I never saw how withdrawn he had gotten after we got back, just shook it off as him spending time with his mother or Kolivan when he came to visit. Though now it makes sense that he never showed up to the wedding. I don't believe that he ever felt wanted."

Shiro jerked at that, sitting up straighter as he glanced to his husband then back to Lance. "He never went..?"

Hunk scoffed at the question, giving the blond man an odd look. "Are you really telling us that you never noticed? Though - to be honest, I think don't remember seeing him even after."

"I think - " Lance whispered, gaining their attention. "I think he just wanted you to be happy. Even if it killed him."

The resounding silence after that statement was deafening. Shiro had his face in his hands, ignoring the looks from the others, including the dark one from his husband; though it didn't go unnoticed from the three silent MFE fighter pilots.

"I still need to find him" Shiro finally said, much to the others confusion.

"And at what cost?" His husband spat, glaring at the blond. "Get yourself killed? The Blade Leader made it very clear that you were not allowed to look for him. So why even put in the effort?"

Shiro didn't miss a beat. "Because he would do the same for me."

"Yeah. And where did that leave him?" Lance whispered quietly, leaning into the comforting hand that Hunk squeezed onto his arm. He could only hope that Keith would somehow forgive them. But God knows they don't deserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, yes, it me. Don't hate me for doing this instead of the other ones I need to work on but I just had to. It was in my brain and wouldn't leave until I got it down. 
> 
> Hopefully I didn't make it confusing for anyone, but if you are, I will be happy to explain or redo it if it's that bad. 
> 
> Um, this is kind of Shiro Bashing, even though I love him. Also, Curtis bashing, because I just...I mean cmon! Keith and Shiro deserved much more and it made me so angry that I had to do this. Even after it's already been over for like a year. Anyway. 
> 
> Please feel free to drop any ideas you would like to see me put in or add, like where Keith ended up and maybe who would like to see him end up with. I will explain the Mate/Alpha/Omega/Beta thing eventually, I promise. 
> 
> Um, I really like Kolivan and Keith but I also love Kuron and Keith too. Or James.  
> God I really suck and picking ships. Help a fellow sinner.
> 
> Hope you didn't cry too much. 
> 
> Love you and thank you!


End file.
